no string attached

do you remember when was the last time you parted with someone you loved?
have you ever felt that you are not good enough for a certain someone?

you know the most cruel thing about being in love,
is that you hold back,
never wanting that someone to know who you really are,
because you are afraid that he/she might not like it,
and that's all you've got.

did you know how long i took to suit the life,
after graduating high school :
when every single day,
i see, i laugh, i talk, i quarrel,
with my girls.

we hardly see each other,
we hardly talk,
now,
i miss them.

yet
i know they are always there.
we are so far,
but still so close.

have you been so attached to another individual,
so very close to each other,
and all of a sudden,
it's all gone,
even the memories are fading.

i miss him too.

do you know that i am so afraid of losing another,
that i've locked myself.

everybody hurts.
yea. i know perfectly well about that.
i choose
not to let it get to me,
again.

selfish?
cowardice?
what-ever it may be.
this is what i have become.

when your heart is screaming in pain,
but you couldn't even shear a tear.
would you know what to do?

i don't.
and
i am afraid.

of being attached
emotionally
to someone
again.

because when the bond breaks,
me and you,
will be
so close,
yet
so far.

and i can't bear it.