Julia's here.

A sense of hopelessness & helplessness suddenly barged into me for a few days.

Reason being.

I'm a stupid fella who can't sit still when others are in trouble.
In addition.
I'm a stupidER fella who has my own freak'in problems which I haven't get right yet.

Alright.

The night we had our party was perfectly great, I suppose.

Yet, I realized so many things about my friends.
But I am just there.
I can't do a single thing to help.
Maybe I am not suppose to.

Just rather,
to appreciate what I have now.

Can say that,
ALL my closest friends are having some difficulty.

One being at the stage which, i think, for a sweet 16, totally awfully bitter.
Which makes my heart sink to the bottom.
A kinda feeling that none of us have experience.
(oh, only that one 'someone')
Yet, I can't do anything.

One being at the stage which, i think, for a deeply in love 17,
basically just suffering.
All I could do, was to play a role in her plot which she made up with heartache to get her parent's trust.

One being at the stage which is pure misery.
I totally got drifted away,
I cried out.
Because she was still able to hear me crap every single day about how 'unlucky' my life is.

I suppose everyone learns through their own experiences.

At my most helpless stage.
I realize, nobody would stretch out a hand and give me a pull.
(see how pathetic I am)

(nono. it is that nobody knows you are hurting if you don't tell)

I didn't just let that pathetic'ness get into me.

I seek for help.
I went around trying to get people to talk crap with me.
Eagerly awaiting for someone to reply my sms.

I never ever thought how delighted & grateful I was to see
"1 new message" appear on my phone.

I promise myself to reply every single sms I receive.
Because the one over there,
might be desperately in need,
desperately in need to realize that "I am here".

I felt sorry for sh's digicam.
and I truly learnt that sh is the by far most cheerful & rational girl I have ever met.
When I was worried to death that she might be so sad that the repairing causes 400rm.
Hey, 400rm for nothing. It was just a freak'in game!
If I were her, I would be moody+afraid+sad+angry.

She was calm.
I was sad. As if I were the one with spoiled camera.
No use crying over spilt milk.
Not many people can do that.
She could.
________________________________________________

Every single thing happens to us for a reason.
The reason being,
-that we may grow.
________________________________________________

Everyone of us is getting
STRONGER THAN YESTERDAY !
________________________________________________

Same old saying -
Everything's gonna be okay !
________________________________________________

Cheerio.

with love,
Julia Y.

grab a 2B pencil and run!

As I was cleaning up my drawer the other day.
I decided to throw my 'temporary-diary' away.
Before doing so, I did read through what I've written.
_________________________________________

There was this poem I wrote.
Which was a lil (not really sure how to describe)

• Depressing?
• Cute?
• Naive?
• Silly?

Not sure.
_________________________________________

This is what I wrote.
_________________________________________

There I stood.
I dared not move.
Worried that my outer looks,
Might make him run.

I kept silent.
Never wanting him to notice me.

Even if I'm invisible.
A girl,
Who never existed in him.

I was glad.
For he stood there,
Next to me.

_________________________________________

crush.ED.
_________________________________________

extreme!

30 days left, and TATA high school...

Still remember the day I went for orientation with my mama.
Time really flies.
I've studied 5 years in this
weird+unknown+stupid+OMG
secondary school.

Yet,
This school ROCKS!
_________________________________________

As I looked thru my sec school photos.

OH-MY-GAWD !!!!

Be prepared!

FEAST YOUR EYES !!!
_________________________________________

Form 1 - I look like a giant next to FuiBee.
I can't believe that I am so extremely huge!!!!
Uggghhh..!!!
_________________________________________

Form 2 - The only year I kept my hair long.
This only makes me look like some
stupid girl who has a small head and large body.
_________________________________________

Form 3 - How boyish.
and dumb.
_________________________________________

Form 4 - I look so much better now.
_________________________________________

Form 5 - Thank good gracious.
This is the best class photo I've ever taken.
The first and last one.
_________________________________________

My 5 years in SMK Puterijaya.
_________________________________________

so long and farewell.
I'm gonna miss ya.
(so not)
_________________________________________

;P

17.

I haven't been blogging for sometime,
as I am too pathetically disturbed by the fact I got so low marks for my continuous writing.

I hate her! (my English teacher)
___________________________________________

Oh-my-gawd!

1 month to SPM.
and I'm not freak'in ready at all.

Got my trials results today.
Which sucks!

I've been going out so often lately.
I dared not let my parents see the result slip.
Just to avoid the non-stop grumbling and nagging of how much time I've wasted.
___________________________________________

oh-well.

2 words to describe me and my seventeen life.
pure BOREDOM and LAME.

I cannot accept the fact that I am suppse to stay home all day long,
.....studying..... (uuuggghhh)

Hmn.. My mama always tells me to set my priorities.

I finally realized.
Getting many As is WAY NOT my main priority.
It's my mama's.
___________________________________________

Lately,
I became a shop-a-holic.
(hmnn...I think, I've always been)

Oh well,
who cares,
it's not like a crime or somewhat.

Hey! I'm contributing towards M'sia economy!
___________________________________________

I hate myself completely.

but then,
my only love sprung from my only hate!

I am so completely in love with mua.
___________________________________________

extended

I was trying to write stuffs about the Moon Cake Festival we had on friday, but kept being interrupted. XD

Two days before the big day, I used up quite some time to finish up my scripts, in the end, both of us, didn't use the scripts.

I'm actually pretty happy because we did not have to follow the scripts, because I wasn't exactly satisfied with what I've done.

Okay, here's how I felt through out the whole thing.
________________________________________

Before the fest started, I was rather nervous.

I couldn't sit still. Keep trying to keep myself busy with other things.
Boy, I was tensed.

Problems not within our control did happen.

Truthfully,
as teenage guys & girls,
I think,
We were really good..

Everyone really did what they are supposed to.

Basically, everyone went to Prez Wong for instructions.
"What next?"... "When?"..."How?"...."What?"....
Good guy. Under so much pressure but he didn't scold anyone of the crew.

Prez Fan, pulak, ran here & there. Doing all the little and huge stuffs.
Really sanfu saai. Have to bring me lohonguo to drink, settle with people who broke the dressing code, etc.
Plus, great amount of effort put into the drama.

(Cannot forget this guy)
MC, don't know since when been calling him "MC" rather than Yet Khai.
Keep calming me down before the thing started.
In the end, seems like he's more strained than me.
We were running here and there as well.
I went everywhere looking and asking, "Yet Khai-leh? Seen him?".... "Anyone seen Yet Khai!?"
He pulak, went everywhere looking for me, asking "Julia-leh? Seen her?".... "Anyone seen Julia!?"
Funny.
By the way, he looks good in traditional shirt or what-ever it is called.

Then, there's SK.
Gave me lotsa ideas.
But, in the end, didn't use either.
Ohhhyyyaahhh....
I had the SHOCK OF MY LIFE....!!!!
1st time ever in history!
SK's speaking so loud...
and her facial expression... "Wu Gang! Are you alright?"
made me laugh NON-STOP.
hilarious!

This SH ler,
had to serve my annoying & mafan chey chey.
Want food-lah, drink-lah, this-lah, that-lah.
funny acting aswell.

(geeee... I've written so long)

Oh well, read on, if you feel interested.

The PA guy, Yueh, good looking kid who I feel, did what he could to save the night.
Salute his enthusiasm towards his job.
If I were him, facing so much tension that night,
I would have been worn out and collapse.
He didn't. And fixed the radio thingy in a jiffy.

There's also many people I'd like to say about.
(since my mama's not home yet, I still have time to share it out here)

• JC & ah Moong. Heard the story. Silly JC. You're really moong cha cha.
• SL & ahem. Went ptying every ten minutes. Like they can't sit still. ;P
• Sun, help to sweep floor. Luckily she swept, if not will be super dirty.
• Ad loh. Over excited after the fest. Keep calling me, asking this, asking that.
• The traditional dancers. Forced to wear a weird looking dress.
  
• Modern dancers too. Before that, quarrel so much. Non-stop. Until I was so damn pissed off. Anyhow, they did their best! The dance is alil too hot and sexy, but darn proud of them.
• There's some deedee (lil bro)'s that helped out ALOT too. Really appreciated that.
• Drama guys. Crazy. Like sl said. UNPREDICTABLE. Everyone really put in a lot of effort in it loh. The 'follower 1 & 2' looked so yeng and funny lerh.

________________________________________

Got to know a bunch of new friends.
and so-on.
________________________________________

I really like to write lotsa crap.

Oh-so-sorry.
No pictures.
Dear ol' linggy, didn't come to school today. Too much nose bleeding. Take care-leh!
________________________________________

Ahhh. One miserable picture taken by SH. (hmmn.. at least, still have ONE photo)

________________________________________

Alright!
Nice work to all.

It's a wrap !