Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Indifference

I am born from a genetically slim family.
Yet, because of certain reasons,
I am, well, (I prefer to say) bigger size.

If you've never been somebody who is *slightly* bigger,
you would never ever understand how it feels.

Insecurity.
Self-image dissatisfaction.
Depression.

Oh well,
Many people say I've been slimmer as I grow older.

I guess, I need to thank 'you know who' who made me had the urge and build in my passion for swimming once again.

Swimming every week made me turn from that gigantic girl next to cute little FuiBee to a 'almost same size like *most* of them' girl.

I will admit it.
I am and will be offended being called 'fat'.

If people say I'm ugly,
I won't give a damn.
Because I know I am not.

Hmmmn......

I'm starting to wonder...

AM I THAT FAT ?
_____________________________________

Oh well,
I might as well just admit that I am.

I am Julia, the FAT one.

F.riendly A.ttractive T.alented
_____________________________________

Even if I am really extremely fat.
What is there for you to bother?

p/s : I repeat, I am not fat. I am only not as slim as some people.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

beauty of loving.


I was watching the Taiwanese drama
绿光森林
this morning on 双星.

This is such a fairytale love story.

Watching the preview made me feel like this is a typical lame ol love story that we normally see on every single ‘idol’ dramas.

Oh well,

I only watched episode 13 & 14.
And, I can’t believe I’m saying this.
The show is actually pretty nice.

It was like very sad.

But then, it was nice as two super rich cum good looking guy going after and protecting an average girl.

There was this 2nd main man of the show. (which I adore)
He was willing to sacrifice so much for his love to be with her love.


(the guy in the MV is the 2nd main man)

One loves.
One hurts.
Differ.

Love is a fire.
But whether it is going to warm your heart
or burn down your house,
you can never tell.

________________________________________

Ahh.

Every girl wants to have a some sort of fairytale love.


I too, dream of a handsome and rich prince charming all dress in nice silky white tuxedo walking down the aisle with me in a huge and grand church in Rome….
(hmmn…. i'm thinking tooooo far away)

Kekekekkekekekekekkeke……
_______________________________________

(as what Mark Twain said)

It’s no doubt that everyone has the

"Irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired."




Saturday, September 23, 2006

crazy over tanglungs


Went to the Moon Cake Festival.
(of Jalan Davidson)

Stole a bunch of
paper lanterns.


HaH….!!!!

Thursday, September 21, 2006

i'm not dead

As much as it sucks realizing my stupidity
as I sit in front of the brain wrecking exam papers,
sitting right behind of the top scholar of the school
doesn't make me feel any better.


Being surrounded by a circle of friends
who nearly all achieve better grades than I
doesn't help either.


Oh well, maybe I ought to accept that
I'm born stupefied.
( uuuggghhh...... how pathetic...)

NoNo...
This is only
temporary idiocy.

CONSOLE ME....!!!!
(non-sense)
(as if I need)


hmmn... I think I need psychotherapy.
_____________________________________

Oh well.

Countdown to 29 Sept.

Taadddaaa....

8 DAYS.

Heck. What..!!

8 DAYS!!!!

Hell no.
I basically haven't really done my preparations.
Hope I don't bamboozle myself on that day.

To the rest:
Work hard.
Have fun.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

my not-so simple family

People think that I'm a banana who doesn't know mandarin.
They think that I'm weird without a so-called full name.


To think of it.
My family members are indeed pretty weird (different-lah).
_________________________________

Today is Nico's last day in Malaysia.

The last time he came, I sure didn't miss him when he went back.
Because he would steal my internet line and the tv all the time.


This time, we have broadband at home and I seldom watch tv.

So, I will kinda miss the half-bald guy who I see doing work in the dining, eating peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch everyday.

_________________________________


My trials will start in 4 days.


Hmmnn... I don't know what I've studied so far.

Nothing I guess. (This is bad)


I stop seeing my school friends online.

I guess, I really need to work hard.


Ugggghhhh.

I need to relax.
Too stressed out.

Lame excuse.


Off now to at least memorize my moral.

Tataz.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

i was that close !

A question for all,
Exactly, how grateful are you?
Have you thanked someone today (from the heart and not just spoken words) ?


The speaker today preached about thankfulness.
He showed us some slides with wars, natural disasters, riots, and much more. Which are just plain depressing to see people suffering and bleed.

Aren't we grateful we are not one of them?
Shouldn't we be appreciating our lives?
_______________________________________

We are blessed by God every single minute and second.
Only that, we were so busy with our own lives,
we couldn't notice them.


I stopped awhile and thought of some things.
and now,
Let me tell you my story.

For, I could have died even before I was born into this life (which I often grumble about).
_______________________________________

When I was about 6 months old in my mum's fragile stomach.
My dear old sis who's 6 years older than me went for a shower and splashed water everywhere.
My mum, walked pass the bathroom, and guess what, she actually fell on her back (which I suppose hurts like mad).
Hey, I'm alive, and now, 17.

Then, my life went on as usual.

When I was in primary school, I don't remember my age at that time.
I learnt swimming from my dad at the pool in my apartment.
I, however, was proud that I could swim and 'dive' at a pretty young age.
I jumped into quite a deep area, which my foot could not touch the ground.
I end up panicking and struggling.
My ability to swim seems to have been, gone.
There were a bunch of young teenage boys who were shocked and didn't know what to do.
They, somehow, just stood there, and watched me, drowning.
My dad, from the other side of the pool quickly swam over to the rescue.
The bunch of hopeless guys got scolding from my dad.

Then, there were times that I nearly got knocked by cars, motorcycles and all sorts of moving vehicles.

In 2004, the tsunami incident that killed millions of people has shaken the entire world.

For me, I was one lucky girl.
Tsunami happened on the 26th of Dec.
I was supposed to go to Phuket, Barn Thai Resort, which is the closest resort to the beach for my 'after PMR holidays' with my aunt and cousin.
Our flight was in the evening (I think).
Tsunami struck at 10am.
Am I lucky or what?
If tsunami occurred on the 27th,
I am dead by now.
_______________________________________

Always be thankful for what you have.
_______________________________________

Now, that I am still alive,
Just in case, anything happens,
I may not be as lucky as before. (we will never know)

I may not like you.
but, I certainly,
LOVE YOU.
I really do.

Like and love has it's differences.

Not liking someone,
someone will stay far away from someone.
Not loving someone,
someone might end the life of someone.

See the difference?
or am I,
simply confusing you?

Friday, September 01, 2006

for your own good.

(to those who got to see my recent changes in my blog)

I've decided to change my templete back to the original one - this one. (duh!)

But, I did create a new blog with my first self-created skin.
Woooohhoooohhh.....

I'm just so good... (liar,liar, pants on fire!)

I spend hours to explore about thic css thingy.

Check out Growing In The Dark! , the entries might be pretty boring.
Oh well, just admire my new templete then.

Cheerio'z.