au revoir 'prefectisme'

I was pretty trilled lately because I'm finally 'retiring' in 2 weeks time.

I am holding the post of secretary this year.
So, I might as well just give you a 'report' on my sec school life as a prefect.

Form 1 -
I am nothing else but a cubby little bouncy naive girl who does whatever my head prefect orders.
I get scolding most of the time because I was always late for duty.

Form 2 -
My nick became the 'big ear hole' (大耳聋) <--- should be this...
Did had some problem with the money business.

p/s : I basically could not really recall what happened before.

Form 3 -
I become totally bad.
I had about a total of 8 piercing on my ears. (I was young back then)
I helped cover my friends by keeping their phones with me.
& stuffs like that.
Always got scolding from teacher and seniors as well.

Form 4 -
I turn good again.
I became the emcee for almost the whole year.
I have always said wrong things that made people laugh at me.
There were times that I just couldn't stand it, I burst into laughter myself.
There were times, where I was so 'great' that everyone would listen to me.
There were times that nobody listen to me too.
Oh well, I've learnt my lesson of communication skills.

Form 5 -
I am actually the free prefect who has nothing better to do.
My form 3 juniors once told me that, the head girl does everything, asst 1 handles disciplinary stuffs, asst 2 handles school cleanliless, treasurer - of course takes care of the money, and me, as SU, does nothing but hang around in the morning 'entertaining' my fellow prefects.
Basically, I can't help it but to chit chat with my juniors, as no one dares to ask me to shut up..
(how bad.... misuse my power)

Becoming a prefect indeed made me learn alot. Plus, I get 7 points for ko-ko.
I got to know many people and understand the condition some of my schoolmates are having.
I guess, if I was not a prefect from the beginning, I would be the average girl who hangs with the same bunch of friends all the time.

Here are some pictures which I edited.
(trying to imitate someone's style - just for the fun of it)

As I said, I'm listed as the person who entertains others. The people I entertain are those above. They are younger than me.
HEHE.. I look like a form 3 too, right?

Here's my head prefect. Kinda silly at times, but very responsible.

My weird memories being a prefect.

They are my two favourite look-alike juniors.
Yap Chen - form 3, Me - form 5, and Yap Jia - form4.

A pic without me. Just feel like posting this cause shu kheng looks so nice.

That is all about it.
I am proud being a prefect although
I was never even 25% close to being a perfect prefect.

finally.

My friend, who seems to never could forget her ex, is finally moving on.

I feel very glad for her seeing that she have found someone else more worthy of her time and love.

I notice that my dear old friend here, appears to be rather joyful with this new guy who she says would not return her love.

This is a somewhat 'amazing thing' because she could be listed as those who don't really put much effort in doing things that does no benefits to her.. ( u really are like that ;P )

She spend the whole day creating a photo frame thingy for 'the guy'..

How sad, she doesn't even make handmade stuffs for her best pals.

Oh well, that's not the main point.
At least, she was able to let go and advance.

Hmmn.. How would I know anything about courtships and dates ?

I guess, she really likes the guy.

In my stage, there is still no guy that would make me be so passionate....YET..
Who knows, he might 'appear' tomorrow.
Like those lame stories of a guy and a girl accidentally knocking each other and had eye contacts and what-so-ever.
Boooorrinng.

It is just so true...

" For those passionately in love,
the whole world seems to smile. "


I do hope that you guys
(meaning : RE & u know who, ling & ehem, ad and ?? , plus others lah, or should I include myself too? )
would be on cloud nine to love and be loved,
also,
to have the bravery and courage
to endure all hurting and heartache that comes with it.

simply miserable

To my dear friend JC.

I do have times like that as well.

Apathetic.

So often,
I feel like the black sheep of the family.

Never contributing anything.
I hate doing chores, so, I'd pretend to study.

I NEVER in tend to do well in my studies,
(my 2nd darkest secret)
I could not let go that hatred.
I am till now,
not willing to accept the fact that my parents spend 90% of their money on my sister's oversea education.
Pooh! Where I'm left here, can't even dream of going abroad.

From time to time,
I feel fed-up going to school.

Felt as if I could not fit in with my group of friends,
as they have different 'channels' with me.

It seems like I've lost contact with them.
There seems to be no matter in common that I can converse with them.

I cannot blame anyone.
As it is my problem that I've to settle myself.

I'd be wacky and witty,
where I find myself so fake,
making me rather keep away then being something I'm not.

People like to give advices, criticism.
I am just the same.
(I'd try my hardest not to do so)

Through experience,
I realize that I actually hate people who act as if they know me well.

I don't even know myself.
What more, others?

Sometimes,
I have an aversion to tell others my problem.
As, humans may find me depressing and like to think too much.
(as if you're not).
And would try to give advice and do something to help me solve my problems.

Just plain repulsive.

I assume we are all the in the same condition.

When people do something for me that I can and need to do myself,
they can contribute to my fear and weakness.
But when people accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel,
no matter how irrational,
then I quit trying to convince you
and get about the business of understanding
what's behind this irrational feeling.

I guess, me & JC & many of us are all blogging with the same purpose.

To express the deepest soreness that may seem absurd.
Yet, not wanting others to tattletale about 'our problems'.

Uggghh....

I am just so pathetic.

never expected

Things in life happen just like that.

We would never know what will happen the next minute.

Someone might leave you just like that.

We regret over the days we treated them when they were still around.

Two of my primary school classmate had faced some tragedy this year.

It seems like something very hard to believe as the guy who once I met on the bus staring at me, and me, staring back, pretending as if I never knew him before, has departed to another world.

It was tougher to receive the news that another friend is now under a life threatening stage.

Even if I don't know them very well, it is still heartbreaking to hear terrible news of them.

Many thoughts coming up in my mind.
So many 'what-if's ?

Death is the only inescapable, unavoidable, sure thing.
We are sentenced to die the day we were born.

As it is written in Ecclesiastes 3 : 1-8

For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.

With all love to my family and friends who I know & knows me.

Live every day as if it were your last,
because one of these days,
it will be.

no exceptions.

As much as I hate studying, it certainly does not mean that I hate learning as much.

Teacher's like to give loads of homeworks.
More than ever, Maths and Add Maths.

I truly dislike the Add Maths teacher.

1. For giving too many questions to solve.
2. Not giving any concern to those who suck at the subject. ( for instance - ME ! )
3. Like to in directly humiliate her students. ( for instance, again - ME ! )

88 % of my Add Maths exercise book is the art of copying.

I'd want to just not pass up her homework even in the beginning of school.
Gosh, I'm not gonna let my prefect cert just fly away like that.
Call myself a prefect ! HAH... What a joke...

I sit in front of the pc every night. Doing stuffs that are pointless.

I just couldn't do homework.

I HATE HOMEWORK.

I'd rather be in school for longer hours than having homeworks pile up on my table.

Then again,
I can do nothing about it.

Imagine if I'm the Ed Minister.
School days will be like heaven on earth..
Muahahahhahhhaa...

For now,
I just hope that I can AT LEAST concentrate in doing my revisions.



Darn !
I'm too addicted in blogging.
(even if there's only 10 person reading'em)

my 3 year old cousin

Kayi - the irritating, bothersome little monster.

My cousin had her birthday party at the poolside.

Boy oh boy...

I didn't like kids at all as they are annoying and disturbing little monsters.
My cousin who turns 3 on 26th of July is one spoiled brat.

Pooh-huh...
Guess what she got for her 3rd birthday?
An electric piano...

Darn.

She got a real mobile phone (without sim card), when she was 2.
She also got a old fashioned thick & bulky laptop (dell ya know) around 2+.

I wonder,
She might get a digicam at 5.
An Ipod at 7.

When, I could only work hard enough and afford to buy an Ipod for myself at the age of 18, I guess.

Different people with different life.

Well, how I wish I'm just born rich.

Oh well,
speaking of spoiled babies.

I did have fun (even though they got on my nerves) the other day.

Kids are pleasant angles and entertaining 'things' AT TIMES.
They are to a certain extent - cute.

I did turn from 17 to 7, playing a fool, filling water balloons, chasing and splashing people.
My bunch of cousins (teens) were all in the ladies toilet, mainly, messing up.
Then, it is off to the pool.

See da 'snakes' in the baby pool?

Oh gosh..
Somewhat 'cool' people go clubbing all the time.

Whereas,
I 'cub' around with little horror.

I'm supposed to be a clown. Goergie (my cousin's friend or I might say - my aunt's friend's son) who is a batman. What a great make-up artist - which is my artistic sister).

That's just all about it.

I still don't find kids likeable.

unusual?

My class has this hobby or somewhat habit to have role plays and sketches.

Odd, yet, hilarious.

People tell me that I'm awkward and clumsy.

the 'silly-walking-laughter-machine',

Some people once said we are childish.. (or... is it just me)

PRECISELY...

then again,
I'll add on :

We are
still young
and
full of life.

Why make yourselves so matured,
when you're not.

the beetle exterminator

The most frequent visitor to my house is no other than the beetle.

My sister's fear for beetle, forced me to be the beetle destroyer.

Nico will be here in August.
By that time, I guess,
I can take a break from that 'tiring job' -
that is without any salary.

Killing insects definitely don't make me feel good.
As they did not attack me or what-so-ever.

Maybe my room is a little not-so clean.
I have unwanted visitors every now and then.
I'll freak out most of the time and have a hard time falling asleep.
Too frightened that the creepy-crawly would fool around on my bed when I'm sleeping.

Aaha...

If beetles happen to be invading your home.
Call me up. (beetle expert)
I'll teach you the easiest and most perfect way to get rid of them.

p/s : If we don't wipe them out, the ecosystem would be out of hand.

Truthfully,
I love beetles.

Control people....!!! control....!!!

Chew on this.

Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody's power, that is not easy.

By, Aristotle.

Taken for Granted

I always tell myself not to take others for granted.
Yet, I continually failed.

Many things happened lately.

And I know, I'm not the only one.

All of us have good friends who may seem to be with you 'forever'.
My mind is always set, that my friends won't be leaving me.

For that, we, every so often, do things to our friends that hurt them and ourselves so much, unintentionally.

I admit, that there are times, where I have lost the certain respect towards my family and friends. Saying words that are even sharper than razor blades and doing things that are offensive.

Being listed as one of the 'gossip queen' and the 8'est' person in class. My friends says that I like to 'add salt and vinegar' to stories.
I would tell others that I'm just being 'detailed'.

Frankly speaking, I do overemphasize at some things, errr, a lot.

Being the busybody (only 50% true : I consider myself as 'being concern' ).
(almost every time) I make things to the nastiest. :(

As time flies, I guess, I learnt about 60% about this
---->> Silence is the true friend that never betrays.

I suppose that now is the moment that all of us to be that 'true friend' and remain calm.

....Shush...

I'd better stop crap.

2080 Syndrome

Once heard bout this 2080 syndrome that happens absolutely everywhere.

Let's start with school.
In class or in a society, only 20% does work and put in an effort to get things done perfectly well. Whereas 80% does nothing much.
This 80% would always criticize and complain about the things that the 20% has done.

Face the fact, it's the truth.

I don't know whether I'm considered as the 20% or the 80%.

Someone have once been asked,
why don't they like to help out and do something.
The answer,the work that they've done had never been appreciated.
A fair enough answer.

I've often felt that the things I did with all my heart
have not been cherished and sometimes,
I might think that I'm such busybody.

I thought back, and figured that
there were many people and friends
that had help me alot with many stuffs.
As far as I remember,
I haven't really thank them.

I'm really grateful to those
who have helped me in school
- my classmates and fellow prefects.
Thanks to all my schoolmates
for being so cooperative
and always following my instructions
and making my emcee life less miserable.
Thanks to some people
who indirectly helped me grow.
Appreciated those
who had be honest and truthful to me.
Those who accepted me for who I am,
even tolerating my weakness.

A great THANK YOU to everyone for making a difference in me.

Sometimes,
we ought to show gratitude,
give some praises
and compliments to those
who have really poured their hearts out to do something,
no matter it is for themselves or for others.

my kong kong

Reading a blog of my friends made me thinking about my kong.

The story that I heard from my popo about how my kong made her fall in love with him. That made me love my kong even more for he is like the most romantic person I've ever seen.

About 50 years ago I suppose, my popo went and watch chinese opera in a nearby temple. When the show has finish, it rained all of a sudden. My popo was trapped in the temple, my kong came running to my popo and giving her the umbrella he was holding and ran off under the rain.

I lived with my grandparents under the same roof until I was about 8. Then, we transferred to KL. I would go back to Kuantan every school holiday to stay with them, that means I'm with them about 3 months a year.

My kong used to work in a airport. Then, he became a fishmonger.
He paid quite alot of money to buy a piano for me and my sis, which I only got to know this year. But the piano is already sold to someone else. He'd always buy food for me, whether it's siu mai, cha siu pao, rojak, ais kacang or anything. He would ride all the way to the market to buy me those.

My kong kong was very strong, he still went out to the sea and to catch fishes with his Malay friends even until he was 68 years old.

He did have some health problem, so, he came to KL and lived with my aunty.
On 11th March 2004, my kong's 68 birthday, my family receive a bad news, that my kong is having lung cancer.

For 1 year and 2 months, I saw my kong kong suffer so much under chemo and radiotherapy. I saw his hair fall, saw him becoming so weak. At that time, I saw so many family members broke down. That affected me so much.

My kong died on a beautiful day. 05-05-05.

A week before, he was almost like a five year old child. Giving away all his money to me & my cousins. He said he'd buy an elephant for me.

The day before he was sent to the hospital. He kept asking my popo : " Where is my wife?". and he told her that he saw his mother and two white lanterns following him.

On 08-05-05, my 16th birthday, my kong kong had really left us.

It is until now, that whenever I think of him, tears will eventually roll down.

I used to question why he had to leave us? Why he had to die? He had never ever went overseas before. He haven't even had the chance to rest.

In May 2006,

I am happy,
that my kong left us,
if he would still be here,

he would be suffering so much.

My kong kong has moved on.
He will remain
in my heart forever.
For he is my grandpa
that I love so much.

race against time

At times,
I really wished I can turn back time and make time stop.

It is so often that we regret for what we did, and what we did not.
Not sure whether it is just me or does everyone else feel the same.
I fret too much about the past.
Feeling so insecure about what I've done, what I've said, how I've reacted and so-on.

Every night, it has become a routine for me to flashback and analyze whatever that had happen that day.

People would always tell me that it's over. They'll say :
" Just let it be"
" Move On"
" Stop Worrying"
"There's nothing to do with you"
"Whatever happened, HAPPENED"

I would think about what they told me.
Yet, I couldn't let go so easily.

I could ! but if I would just let everything be, and not be anxious about the trouble and difficulties I caused.

The same thing might happen again.

Others, who don't know me, might think that I lead a miserable life of self-doubting.

I'd say loudly :
I would be living a much devastating life,
if i would just keep cool about everything.

I'd 'fight' time all the time, in whatever I do.

I believe.
When the time comes,
I will grow and learn something.