Julia's here.

A sense of hopelessness & helplessness suddenly barged into me for a few days.

Reason being.

I'm a stupid fella who can't sit still when others are in trouble.
In addition.
I'm a stupidER fella who has my own freak'in problems which I haven't get right yet.

Alright.

The night we had our party was perfectly great, I suppose.

Yet, I realized so many things about my friends.
But I am just there.
I can't do a single thing to help.
Maybe I am not suppose to.

Just rather,
to appreciate what I have now.

Can say that,
ALL my closest friends are having some difficulty.

One being at the stage which, i think, for a sweet 16, totally awfully bitter.
Which makes my heart sink to the bottom.
A kinda feeling that none of us have experience.
(oh, only that one 'someone')
Yet, I can't do anything.

One being at the stage which, i think, for a deeply in love 17,
basically just suffering.
All I could do, was to play a role in her plot which she made up with heartache to get her parent's trust.

One being at the stage which is pure misery.
I totally got drifted away,
I cried out.
Because she was still able to hear me crap every single day about how 'unlucky' my life is.

I suppose everyone learns through their own experiences.

At my most helpless stage.
I realize, nobody would stretch out a hand and give me a pull.
(see how pathetic I am)

(nono. it is that nobody knows you are hurting if you don't tell)

I didn't just let that pathetic'ness get into me.

I seek for help.
I went around trying to get people to talk crap with me.
Eagerly awaiting for someone to reply my sms.

I never ever thought how delighted & grateful I was to see
"1 new message" appear on my phone.

I promise myself to reply every single sms I receive.
Because the one over there,
might be desperately in need,
desperately in need to realize that "I am here".

I felt sorry for sh's digicam.
and I truly learnt that sh is the by far most cheerful & rational girl I have ever met.
When I was worried to death that she might be so sad that the repairing causes 400rm.
Hey, 400rm for nothing. It was just a freak'in game!
If I were her, I would be moody+afraid+sad+angry.

She was calm.
I was sad. As if I were the one with spoiled camera.
No use crying over spilt milk.
Not many people can do that.
She could.
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Every single thing happens to us for a reason.
The reason being,
-that we may grow.
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Everyone of us is getting
STRONGER THAN YESTERDAY !
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Same old saying -
Everything's gonna be okay !
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Cheerio.

with love,
Julia Y.